Wishing all the haters and losers an excellent college football season
No, Trump won’t stop tweeting. However, college football season is upon us. The time has come to set aside our political differences and cheer on our teams.
This past week, I drove past the Mercedez-Benz Superdome in New Orleans. It took me back to the 2012 BCS National Championship Game between LSU and the University of Alabama. Attending the game with my father, I fondly recall the Tigers failing to pass the 50-yard-line for the entire first half. Regrettably, they did achieve one first down. As an Alabama fan, it was glorious. For LSU fans, no amount of corn dogs and Jack Daniels can wash the indignity away.
In college football, disappointment is only a second away. I’ve felt the pain of Alabama losing six consecutive Iron Bowls to Auburn. Thankfully Alabama has never lost so many in a row that I’ve had to find out if Auburn fans can count without their fingers. I’m still smarting from Auburn’s Iron Bowl win leaving a perpetual mark on Alabama’s national championship run last year. My friends on the plains probably aren’t too broken up about it.
It’s hard not to be impressed with the progress Tennessee Volunteer fans are making. They’ve apparently stopped focusing on wins and losses and really learned to win at the game of life. With a whole generation of fans who haven’t enjoyed success on the field, it’s good to see them adapt.
Truthfully, I enjoy college football because it gives me another conversation topic at least as controversial as politics and religion. It’s also nice to be at a game and not care at all about the person’s politics sitting next to me. Sometimes he’s wearing overalls without a shirt and has a tattoo of Bear Bryant’s face on his back. I’d normally consider that strange, but this is family.
I’m also taking note of innovative success strategies college football teams are deploying this year. Ole Miss has my attention with their emphasis on mascots. First there was Colonel Sanders, then Creepy the Bear, and now some kind of mutant shark with arms. Ole Miss should consider putting some jets and lasers on that bad boy and letting it try out for Trump’s Space Force.
Some things won’t change this year. Mississippi State will invariably beat one of the top teams in the country and then lose to Southwest Eastern Community College. This will infuriate the rest of the SEC. At this point, the only rational explanation is Russian interference.
Florida looks like it might make a comeback this season; jean shorts will not.
Whether it’s a blue wave or a red wave in politics, I always keep an eye out for the dark horse to buck the trend. That’s why South Carolina concerns me. I recall Alabama managing to make Gamecock QB Stephen Garcia look like Joe Montana in 2010. Because the Curse of Mark Richt requires Georgia to have an excellent record while suffering at least one agonizing defeat, South Carolina might have a shot at the SEC East.
Vanderbilt, Kentucky, Arkansas, Missouri and Texas A&M also have football teams.
Our political troubles won’t simply vanish, but they matter a little less after a “Roll Tide!,” “War Eagle!,” or whatever it is that University of Central Florida fans tell each other about winning last year’s national championship. For now, hope springs eternal for the upcoming season. In the words of President Trump, “I would like to wish everyone, including all haters and losers (of which, sadly, there are many) a truly happy and enjoyable” college football season.
