You are, no doubt, familiar with Melissa Click, the embattled University of Missouri professor who kind of resigned this week (from the journalism school, where she had a “courtesy” position, but not from the communications department where she is actually employed) for her role in muscling away (what else?) journalists from covering the student protests, arguing that brave souls confronting the status quo on public land deserved a “safe space” away from cameras.

It turns out Melissa Click should have been more careful in preserving her own safe space; her curriculum vitae is posted online, and provides you with all the information you need to understand why Ms. Click is as unable to cope with the real world as her students.

A few highlights? She received a “graduate certificate” in “advanced feminist studies,” which is not actually a thing. She thinks home canning will subvert the capitalist food culture. She’s done the best work while studying Lady Gaga and Martha Stewart, and she once wasted taxpayer money on a very special trip to Texas:

‘Center for Arts and Humanities Grant, University of Missouri. Awarded to support travel to attend TwiCon in Dallas, TX for study of Twilight fans.’

That’s right, in 2009 Click received taxpayer funding to attend a Twilight fan convention.

Unfortunately, her resulting research has not been published, so we don’t yet know whether she’s Team Edward or Team Jacob.