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My first cut of the year. My grass is perfect!!!

Posted by John Boehner on Saturday, March 12, 2016

 

John Boehner might be done as speaker, but seasonal work on his lawn has just begun.

As I was scrolling through my social media, I noticed the Facebook post from the former Republican representative from Ohio and thought it was worth a closer look. He’s smiling as he stands in front of his beautiful home with a mower against the backdrop of a lush green yard.

Then there were the comments. Let just say they weren’t the kind you’d like your mother to read. Here are a few examples:

Erik Klingenberg:

Too bad evverything [sic] you did to this country was an attempt to ruin it. I hope your lawn turns good and orange, just like your phony tan…

Ashly Bower:

No way boehner cuts his own grass with that crappy mower!

Louie Pepe:

John Boner, you still alive? I though you killed yourself after ruining this country while being the Obstructionist Speaker. I thought it would happened after The Pope shamed you for all your sins to this country.

Boehner hasn’t been in office for a while now, and people are hoping for his lawn to turn orange and insulting his mower. That’s low. For years, I’ve cut my own lawn with a push mower my grandfather bought at a garage sale. I love that mower, and I’m the only one who can call it names. At least nobody I know thinks I offed myself because of a pope-shaming.

Seeing the biting commentary, I did what any responsible social media user would do and shared it. Don’t judge me. We all throw out a post from time-to-time just to see how strange our own friends are.

The results were fairly consistent, but one of my friends had a response that was a cut above the rest:

Trey Edwards:

1) he’s not sweating. 2) That mower clearly was not just used. No grass particles on the tires or anywhere else. 3) aside from one tiny piece, there are virtually no grass particles on his clothes. 4) There are no lines on the grass as if it was mowed by a push mower. Looks more like a riding mower or zero-turn mower did it. This is hilarious.

So there we have it. The former speaker of the U.S. House of Representatives is proud of his lawn work, and we turn the photo into the next grassy knoll. Think John Boehner really cuts his lawn? If you believe that, I’m sure you think we actually landed on the moon as well.

I was truly tempted to engage the merits of my friend’s analysis implying that Boehner staged the photo, but then I remembered to take my crazy pills.

It’s fair game to criticize John Boehner’s political decisions, but leave his enjoyment of lawn care out of it. Watching one random commenter after another vent their spleen on Boehner points to the wave of rage washing over our nation—and it’s completely irrational.

What’s the point? Boehner isn’t in office anymore. If you didn’t like him as speaker, you should be thrilled that he’s working on his lawn instead of the federal budget. Yet so many see a simple social-media post as an opportunity to be angry for anger’s sake.

Let’s just assume that Boehner staged the whole thing to show off his house, lawn, tan and little red mower. Who cares? He clearly isn’t worried about your politics, and it looks suspiciously like he’s enjoying himself. He might have even posted the photo so he could laugh at the comments with a glass of wine and a cigarette.

I realize we’re coming off winter, we’ve watched an uninspiring presidential campaign for months. We’re a little cranky or, in some cases, full of unyielding fury. Take a deep breath, open the door, and take a step as your eyes adjust to the sunlight. Fox News and MSNBC will forgive you for your temporary disloyalty. Catch a minor -league ballgame, read a book outside, pick up a kite and teach your son or daughter how to lodge it securely in an oak tree. It doesn’t matter so long as you’re not focused on how ticked off you are at all the things you can’t control. That just might help our country head in a better direction than the one we’ve currently picked.

Maybe even get out and mow your own lawn and forget about politics for a while. That’s what John Boehner is doing, and it looks nice.

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